Pictures

Have you ever looked at a picture and remembered beyond the tedious details of time, place, and people involved, what you felt at the moment? What transpired before and after that snapshot that transformed -- how you felt or were feeling? the joys, apprehensions, sadness, pain, the memories created by such moments.

How safe is it to look at pictures? Because if its a joyous or memorable occasion we can hang it up in our offices, apartments, even suspend it from awkward places in our cars -- for reminders of good times and happy thoughts. But most importantly, those bad times that we can look at retrospectively as though they have no bearing on our current situation and circumstances -- that's if we even keep such pictures in our collections. How safe we our indeed from those past horrors and trouble times.

It makes me believe that we should take mental pictures, extemporaneously, of how our current worries and problems. So, if we can look at them as a moment in time surrounded by (on one side) infinite amounts of moments lived, and (the other) by infinite amounts of moments to be lived, we're only affected by those sad moments as looking a picture.

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"old minded, but young at heart"

After giving a chemistry demo show for elementary students, I was reminded about the consequences of becoming more wise, experienced, and "educated". when one grows older, one tends to lose, quite linearly, the innocence of imagination, of knowledge; and most especially, of questioning. What I saw in them and am starting to see fade in me, is less of a fascination about what will happen or what could happen. Instead such innocence has been replaced with a stern precociousness trying to figure out why something is -- merely to compiling loads of information. maybe this is some attempt to be prepared for future challenges or questions "I am supposed/called to" answer in my life. But then maybe, and unfortunately, it is the gradual slip of being a excited viewer of life into a stern critic. Not being excited about aspects of life for the experience or thing itself. But filing them away in some elaborate mental cabinet in hopes of future use.

But right now, I recognize the preparedness cannot come prior over even during, a given experience. And thus, each moment in life, in aggregate might prepare you for the future. But each moment needs to be lived for that moment. And each experience for that experience. If not, at the end of life, you might have all the answers but to which questions? even more troubling, is that if you lose or rather divert that innocence for or to "wisdom" or "experience" you put at jeopardy being surprised or intrigued by different subject matter. This could lead to a loss, eventually, of passion, which would be truly sad!

Comment please if you feel this way or don't...

new year's promises

The celebration of the New Year is celebrated, in my opinion, wrongly. Most people shoot away, wish away, and in some cases drink away the old year, while simultaneously wishing and hoping for the new. We don’t wish these things into existence; rather we make ‘resolutions’. We say to ourselves that starting this year we are going to promise to do new things that will definitely change our lives. [But] This energy is misplaced. We should be more focused on not making new promises to ourselves that will be impossible to keep, but rather renewing those promises of yesteryear. Those things that from our childhood or early adulthood, which have been dreams that we always wanted to be reality; to have the courage, energy, strength, and presence of mind to go after them now. Despite the trouble of trying to achieve them in the past.

In fact, the promises of the New Year are the same promises of the new day. That is, another opportunity. Sometimes people will confuse this ‘opportunity’ with a new opportunity or a new moment to choose. I feel strongly that the future is an opportunity to do what we haven’t done, not to do what we want to do. This is not meant to be dogmatic, but what is frustrating is this idea of accumulating and compiling new goals everyday and every ‘new’ year. I wish for myself and for everyone, that they take stock of those things that they have not accomplished and those things that they have accomplished. And strive to make those things that were not successful learning lessons, and those things that we failed to attempt – our new efforts.

A New Year resolution or goal does not have to be a new goal or new resolution. Rather it should be a goal or resolution that we have yet, for whatever reason, not accomplished. And if one finds oneself without unaccomplished goals, one lives ascetically and has not truly examined their life.

"where does the time go"

Recently my grandmother stated, “Where does the time go?” when commenting on how much the children and young of the family had grown. This memo tends not to think of that as a rhetorical question that has no answer or is unanswerable. This memo tries to answer ‘where the time goes’ and the unfortunate answer to that question is forward.

The beatific and simultaneously the unfortunate aspect of life is that it moves on. That in the end, no matter if your experiences have been positive or negative, in a moments notice they are behind you. [And] Whether you are prepared or not, a new challenge, a new moment is in front of you garnering your full attention. This is why in life, each moment, each challenge, and each experience must be respected and cherished; insomuch, that it’s a learning opportunity for future ventures. Life is a never-ending accumulation of experiences preceded only by previous experiences.

Like a solider marching, or a track star running, or even possibly a car traveling a great distance; life and time move forward irrespective of the ground, trail, or road traveled. Whether it’s a bumpy trail, desolate road, or smooth path that experience is over and like a solider, track star, or car we have to emotionally and mentally move on and have to with maximum effort. Maintaining our goals and aspirations and how to accomplish them, while cognizant of our past. [Because] We cannot afford to look backwards -- in doing so we cannot properly march and move forward properly. Nevertheless, we must reflected and remember to keep those lessons attained in the past as reminders of the mistakes and victories of yesterday. Take for example a four star general that started his career in the military as a private first-class. At every moment you are striving to be the best at that moment, while wearing badges on you exterior (uniform) for victories and courage and on your person (scars) that are reminders of battles survived. But most importantly, in the present we must make the best out of every moment, despite its quality or difficulty. [And] Remember only the complacent think ‘time is on our side (literally)’. Time is the drum beat upon we march our life forward.

Do time and life necessarily converge? That is, do they progress simultaneously and incrementally, converging to an eventual end? I think not. One’s life has some many oscillations that one can never be completely comfortable with their position or circumstance. Because no one knows what tomorrow may bring! But time is an unwavering pulse. It moves on and wipes away those things of the past as fast as they came to fruition. And what it promises is a tomorrow, despite your participation or appearance in it, time will move on.

Where does the time go? It definitely goes forward -- thank goodness. When we are going through a tumultuous time or celebrative time, life promises us that our next experience(s) will be different and that the future holds a chance for us to rectify those mistakes in the past by future actions or duplicate those successes. Thank goodness for second chances, thank goodness for time, but most importantly thank goodness for our ability to learn, comprehend and transformed during our time on Earth.

Crossroads

For all those who work hard, dreamers of the BIG dreams and hopers of the impossible hopes – how does one know when to stop? How does one know or discern, that no matter how much more hard work one puts in something, or despite dreams and all the best hopes; that something is not going to happen? Unfortunately, we, as humans, sometimes have to face this reality. Sometimes, our biggest hopes, our most cherished dreams, will fall short of our aspirations. As rational beings we have to accept that some things are just not “in the cards” and that no matter how much more resources or prayers that we bestow upon a certain goal, it’s not going to happen. But how do we know when that day, minute, or moment has come upon us? When to forget about the hard work, long hours, and experiences missed, resources depleted, and other exhausting processes and look forward to or pursue another dream?

I, as a dreamer also, have always thought that it was difficult, especially for the dedicated person to know the difference between a hard time and a need to push on, and a time to reflect about what’s truly important and choose something different. Moreover, as a believer in God and of divine purpose, I certainly think that sometimes, if you want something to happen bad, even in opposition to your ‘purpose’ in life, you can be blinded by the completion of that goal and miss your purpose or ‘true’ goal in life. So where does one make that distinction? And moreover, how does one make that distinction? I believe that it takes place in the same area where dreams, hopes, and life-long goals come into being – the heart.

We ultimately, after all of the praying, all the hoping and wishing, all the education and guidance, really have two choices – we can follow our mind, our ability to reason, or we can follow our hearts, our innate ability to feel. In matters, where we are choosing between two distinctly different paths, one known (the Present) and the other being unknown (the Future), we should not rely upon reason, no matter how tempting it maybe. However reassuring reason is, it does not lend equal evaluation of both options – no one can ever know about the future. Instead, in deciphering what to do in the future, when we are discourage, face a hard time, or come to a cross roads we should lend upon the yearnings of the heart.

If we do not know if the road we are traveling leads to a dead end or eventual happy end, we should search our heart for what truly inspires us, what motivates us, and what makes us happy. If we follow such, no matter where that road leads, we would have had a great journey – an experience of a lifetime. And what one must keep in mind is that life is all about the journey and not the destination.

SO if you want to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, college coach, businessman, wife, husband, mother, and/or father – and the road that you are traveling to that eventual end seems to be rough, bumpy or almost not travelable, search your heart. Because in it lies your true goals and aspirations, whether you accomplish them or not. Today I take heed to this advice insomuch as I am doing today what I thought that I wanted to do yesterday. And if I live like that, while making sure I try to be a better person than I was yesterday – how could I possibly go wrong? Today, and ever day forth, I am no longer doing only what makes sense to me. Today I am doing what makes me, with or against all logical reason, feel right and happy. Do the same!

The Imus Awakening

Real progress is not only the removal of barriers that prevent a people from upward mobility. Real progress is that, even in spite of such barriers, a group of people’s dreams and goals can not be thwarted by such barriers and complications. The public firestorm over the repugnant and stupid comments by Don Imus is a stark reminder that real progress in the black community has not yet been realized. I admit that his comments were over the line and offensive to some, possibly many, but the result of his comments and the fallout that has followed has been equally over the line and offensive. These protests, rants, and selective calls for reform display three glaring issues of either hypocrisy or contradiction with in the black community and America.
One, for me personally, there is not one 65 year old man, in America from the president down to the bus driver, to my professors to the guy on the corner; that has enough power to steal my joy! Sure I am offended from time to time by the comments by Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and others, but I recognize that whether their comments are a result of ignorance or bigotry, what they say or have said cannot hurt me. They do not have and will never have the power to slow me from my personal goals and dreams. This was the hope of the civil rights moment. To yes, removal the mainstream uses of racial slurs, but primarily to stop the idea that blacks are not intrinsically equal to whites; and to remove power of the majority over the minority, to power for every individual person regardless of color. Because of the historical subjugation of blacks, blacks, argued by many African-American leaders, are easily led to a feeling of victimization and the like. Blacks need to be reminded that we, because of the sacrifices of our fore fathers and ancestors, have the power to do whatever we want. And that if people are going to condemn you, or demean you; so what….succeed anyway!
Two, the hypocrisy of those calling for the firing of Don Imus and the presupposed moral high-ground they yell stentorian from about the racism and sexism in his comments is outrageous. Let me say that we are all humans and as such, we are all prone to making mistakes. Our mistakes never render us impotent from deciphering what is moral or not, but hopefully provide valuable experience for future judgment(s) in similar situations. As much as Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton have done for the black community, their records in malicious discourse or insensitive comments are not clean. Rev. Jesse Jackson has been noted several times for making slurs against the Jewish community in New York. And Rev. Al Sharpton has a laundry list of political incorrectness, from calling a central park runner a whore to offending the Jewish Community. I am not mentioning these prominent figures past to deflate their message about the Imus situation, but merely to reference that those who are calling for the firing of Imus have to be cognizant of their own mistakes. And recognize the possibly that Imus just made a mistake and thus, should apology and be forgiven. But the main glaring difference between Imus and Rev. Sharpton and Jackson, is that Imus apologized immediately and submitted various mea culpa for the implications, insensitivity, and ignorance of his remarks. And, despite the countless transcripts and even recordings of their (Rev. Al and Jackson) comments, they either deny their utterance or simply detract from addressing those issues. I find it hard, morally, to call for something by someone in which, you personally have fallen short in doing. Similarly, some in the black community either partake, live, or celebrate ‘hip-hop’ culture. A culture, which in some aspects, at least at prima facie demeans and denigrates women, and in some instances, uses the very words that blacks deem out-of-bounds for the mainstream in common vernacular. One cannot say on one hand that a word or phrase is racist and should not be spoken, but on the other hand celebrate the sells that that word or phrase, or possibly even what it represents, generates or gathers in revenue. Simply put, you cannot, morally I think, say something is wrong and then say it!
Finally, what is most disappointing is that this situation, along with others I am sure, might have been an explosion for the wrong causes and reasons. First, as I have pointed out to those close to me in the past days that there seems to be two reasons for communication. To use language, being apart of one’s culture, to articulate a certain idea or perspective. And when one is offended by one’s communication, whether that is words, phrases, music, art, etc, I think one must ponder this distinction. Insofar as if one is offended by the language that some used as a medium to communicate an idea, one should address that person and inform them of the offensive language. However, it is quite another thing if the idea of what one says is offensive. Namely, if what one says, in context and with purpose, was meant to hurt or demean others. If this is the case, that person, who uttered such abhorrence should be removed and seek redress of such ideologies. Conflating what people say in context to what they might mean or think, in your opinion, out of context, in the long run does no one justice. Second, there are those who are argue that this situation was just a battle cry, an ignition to the racial and gender discussions that need to come about it America. I say in response, especially from the racial perspective, that there are much better racial issues and instances of deliberate racism to be better battle cries. When some one like Ann Coulter calls the widows of 9/11 ‘opportunistic gold-diggers’, or the racial rants of Michael Richards, or the drunken religious–slamming rages of Mel Gibson, or the Rush Limbaugh public mocking of those with Multiple Sclerosis, etc. These situations much deeper in sentiment, much more particular in scope, and meant with much more malice of forethought go practically overlooked and the authors of such go practically unscathed. I am merely suggesting choosing your battles carefully. Don’t choose this situation, like the Imus comments, to ignite a rite. Why? Because next week this will be a non-story, a non-issue, and forgotten into the history of the radio waves. Choose an issue (high school graduation, farther-less homes, college dropout rates, racial poverty, medical care, Katrina, etc.) that will transcend the times and that crosses the lines in which all rational people, regardless of color, can get behind. This situation is not that issue and all the hollering, all the protest, and all the cries of racism will go into the ‘books’ as another instance of Rev. Jackson and Rev. Sharpton inflating an issue that has no hope of expansion.
But as I say in the opening, what is most displeasing about this situation is what it shows, at least to me, as a result of the public uproar. That the lessons and goals of the civil rights movement have not been truly realized and real progress has been limited. I hope, in my lifetime, that there will be a day when no word(s), including the ‘N-word’, are so deeply entrenched with hated. Needless to say, I would hope people would always keep in mind its historical references and use the word with caution and rarity. But in a society where we celebrate and gloat about our freedom of speech and expression, in an age where we claim that we want to know more about our different cultures and sects and in a day that we have had two black Secretary of States consecutively, a serious African-American and women candidate for president and the likes of media sports giants like Tiger Woods; its time for the black community and America to grow up! Its time for us to stop retreating to being victims, to stop crying wolf at the appearance of a comment derived for yesteryear, to stop using the same slurs and pejoratives that we deem racist, and to stop conflating the use of language with the communication of an idea. When the day arises when ‘nappy headed hoes’ can be used in a jokingly manner (which it was the context it was meant, even though distastefully done), then and only then will those dreams of the civil rights movement and those dreamers of a better day, hopes and wishes come to full fruition. However, the Don Imus situation is a stark, palpable and unfortunate reminder of how far we are from such!